We've got a new editor

Posted by: GayGuy

I don't really accept anyone as an editor, only those whom I trust. I need assurance that the person can take ownership of this blog, to manage it, and most of all, write logical arguments.

To date, I have come out to 3 people, of which I knew through this blog. I am greatly impressed at my own courage.

Again, I am still a student. I cannot juggle my personal blog concurrently with this one. I need someone to help me with this. Fortunately, a new friend of mine sent me an e-mail about his blog, http://homones.blogspot.com/ and just like how I started out, he had the same "About me" post, that described our own experiences.

This is a coming out story extracted from the blog: Rose tinted lenses. Reproduced with permission.

From: Not applicable
To: gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com

As a gay teenaged Singaporean, coming out to myself and my social orb is a string of events, like pearls on a necklace. Each pearl is as beautiful as the last, yet unique in its own ways. Hung around with pride around a beautiful feminine neck, I intend to charge forth, into the unknown darkness of life clutching tightly to my pearl necklace.

Coming out to the world is something I knew would happen sooner or later. I'm 18, going on 19 in September. I have an older brother, aged 25 and elder sister, aged 24 and a younger sister, 15. All of them know I'm gay.

It was a step I knew I had to take, especially towards my brother for he, himself, is gay.

One day after returning from Bangkok on a short 4 day getaway with my sister, I texted my brother telling him I needed to speak to him urgently and that we meet up. He called me up sounding flustered and demanded I tell him what it was.

I tried resisting. I really did.

Until I blurted out, "I'm gay."

Silence.

I strained my ears over the cordless phone to hear his breathing. I expected his reaction to be that of shock and surprise, but being gay himself, I thought he would've been able to accept it faster than anyone else.

He was the third person I came out to, and the first person I said to verbally that I'm gay. The previous 2 were female friends, one of whom is a former lesbian and now bisexual (even though I'm gay, I think she drips with sexual appeal). I came out to them, of all ways, by typing the words on my cellphone. I couldn't say the words, "I'm gay."

"Oh my god why are you saying these things?" my brother asked. His voice was curt, cold. The voice of a person in shock and negative disbelief.

I closed my eyes. A tear seeped out of my left eye and took a deep breath to compose myself, "Because its true. Will it be a problem?"

"I don't know what to say. How many people know?"

"2, now you, 3."

Silence. A long deafening one that urged me to slam down the phone and pretend I didn't tell him anything.

"What're you thinking, how're you feeling?" I asked. My voice was calm and assured. Inside, my heart was crumbling into jigsaw puzzles of regret.

"I'm shocked."

Silence.

"I tell you what. You think about it first. I'll talk to you soon."

And he hung up. He didn't even say "Take care, bye."

In that 5 minutes, which felt like 5 dharmic life cycles, I knew, the person whom I've always wanted to connect with, was gone... at least for now.

I left home and took a walk around my neighbourhood aimlessly. I didn't know what to do. I knew he probably had to face some issues, like guilt, but I wanted him to ask me questions. I wanted him to know me as I am. Not as the straight-acting front I have to put up all the time.

For three weeks, he avoided coming home. He has his own apartment somewhere in town.
In coming out to him, I added another pearl on the necklace, a painfully beautiful one. And I hung it around my neck.

As you would also agree, this is a well-written entry. I can feel the emotions seeping out from this post and am really happy that he has come out to those whom he felt needed to know.

I then emailed him back with the request if he was willing to join me as an editor, and very fortunately, he agreed. We chatted a little on MSN Messenger and talked about various issues, and also touched on the further developments of this blog.

I have a few people in mind now that suits the position of being an editor, and I re-iterate my stand we would have a free share of this blog. It's not mine, nor is it theirs. This is a blog that could help those in need to gain more courage, and perhaps, bring about some emotional healing.

We discussed how this blog could gain more exposure, and he suggested submitting this URL to some of the more popular blogging websites, so that in a way, we could gain some recognition from their readers. What matters most is what I deem the target audience; be it homosexuals or homophobes, everyone could, in the end, benefit from the posts in this blog.

I would like to thank some of my readers, who have been helping me spread news about this blog, in one way or another. One of them, whom I do not know personally, but helped by submitting a post in sgboy forums, featuring this blog. Some of the other great helpers are nineaugust and willythecop, who have assisted in advertising and marketing, for creating a funny but informative video. Most of all, I would like to express my thanks to Lady Queer, http://queersingaporean.blogspot.com, for linking me up and giving me suggestions.

If you would like to link to us, there is absolutely no need for approval (unless you are linking it together with words of hate of course). You can link us straight at http://gaytothebone.blogspot.com. Do drop us an email (if you would like) just to tell us that you have linked us up. It's good to know that we are being linked.

In the meantime, if you are openly gay, you can help us spread the news about this blog to your friends. Do what you can to get this message out.

Please continue to submit your entries either to gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com or you can directly submit your stories by leaving a comment in the most recent post, posting as an anonymous contributor. Your email address will be kept private. All contributor's real names are NOT required, unless specified by the contributor with written permission to reveal the identity.

Revised by Zee on 18 September 2005.
Notes: Sentence structure corrections.