"We are as normal as they are."
Posted by: GayGuy
"Nothing is impossible," is one of the favorite quotes from a Christian preacher. Yet they kept substituting the word "nothing" with "gay".
Every faith believes in hope, love, care, peace, trust, honesty, and all the good things you can think of. I am a freethinker, and I believe every religion around should ought to be more open minded.
Family values and discipline, should well be treasured. While that is vital for every family, there should also be acceptance within family members at times when things aren't exactly going well as you wanted it to be.
It is not of other's concern of the harsh words they used towards gays, nor do they view it as an attack to personal pride at all. Some view them as a joke, as jokes concerning gays are so common that I hear them from my friends almost everyday. I learnt my lesson, I kept my silence.
I have been bearing this thought in my mind, that if I can in fact choose my own sexual orientation, what would I have chosen? The answer I answered to myself was, heterosexual.
In the fact that I am living in the island state of Singapore, wouldn't being a heterosexual been so much better where you can get proper weddings and a uncloseted relationship? Similarly, I think many people would think like me, that you will choose to be a heterosexual.
So why is it that people are not changing? The answer was simple and clear, because we simply cannot change it.
"Have you ever tried changing in the first place?", asked an inquisitive person.
Browsing internet pages, I have visited several pages written by gays, sharing their experience at Christian organisations that targets to help homosexual males and females to "change". What they shared was that, they enjoyed their time while in there, but they found that nothing changed in them, even with guidance of religion and religious leaders.
Looking at that, I am pretty sure that I couldn't be wrong. I was still Christian then, very active, very fervent, but though I am in a Church which condemn gay acts as a sin, I constantly look for an answer.
I browsed through pages and pages of internet sites again, only to return loads of preaching sermons against homosexuals. It left me unconvinced of what is the true "righteousness".
I wouldn't want to condemn Christianity all in all, as there are also gay accepting ones like the Free Community Church.
Parents, are one big obstacle greater than anything else. Most parents accept their children as gay, some of them doesn't. The reason was that one "moral value" was drilled into their heads; homosexuality is sodomy.
Parents, are ever most loving and concerned for their flesh and blood. Everything you do, everything you get, matters to them. The reaction of what I call "homophobic parents" are normal, as you can just imagine a load of shock was shot to them, by their own flesh and blood. They couldn't gladly accept it, and would first think of how they can help you, when all they can do was to comfort you and brave the storms with you.
They love you. If you, reading this, hates your parents for who they are, please don't. They are the people most caring for you. Give them some time if you have came out frankly to them. Flip the page and start a new chapter. Forgive them.
While I can't provide you with the best advise, as I am still closeted, I think you get what I mean.
Your stories are in huge demands now. Let all Singapore hear who we are through your own experience, and comfort those still greatly closeted by spreading the message that you are one of us. Submit your entries either to gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com or you can directly submit your stories by leaving a comment in the most recent post, posting as an anonymous contributor. Your email address will be kept private. All contributor's real names are NOT required, unless specified by the contributor with written permission to reveal the identity.
Every faith believes in hope, love, care, peace, trust, honesty, and all the good things you can think of. I am a freethinker, and I believe every religion around should ought to be more open minded.
Family values and discipline, should well be treasured. While that is vital for every family, there should also be acceptance within family members at times when things aren't exactly going well as you wanted it to be.
It is not of other's concern of the harsh words they used towards gays, nor do they view it as an attack to personal pride at all. Some view them as a joke, as jokes concerning gays are so common that I hear them from my friends almost everyday. I learnt my lesson, I kept my silence.
This contributor has chosen not to reveal his identity. Some spelling errors has been corrected. No other parts are edited.I seriously liked it when you said, "We shouldn't be blamed, because no one chooses their sexuality."
From: *removed*@hotmail.com
To: gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com
Hi there,
I share the same problems as you have stated in your posts. Well I guess, every other homosexual would face such problems, from social dejection to 'circle' rejections.
Like you, I live in a household, that very much mums to the word/term homosexual. It is unspeakable and unthinkable. And at times, when it is spoken, it truly hurts to have a mom, oblivious to her son's sexuality, condemn a homosexuality.
Our biggest problem is that we have been stereotyped. There must have been some conspiracy in the past for people to derive their hatred for us, through reasonings from religion and etc. Sadly, this case exists in Singapore. Yet they just don't get it. We're as normal as they are. We've got 10 fingers, 10 toes, a conscious mind and emotions.
They don't see our already big enough problems that we face everyday. Because most of us have this fear of being in the open etched into our lives, we suffer greatly from that. Loneliness knows us by name. Most of us are confined to ourselves, decomposing our pride and strength as we eat into our emotions and at times fall into desperation and/or depression.
They call it psychology, but I'd call it human... We shouldn't be blamed, because no one chooses their sexuality. We just grow into them, depending on nature/nurture.
Hopefully, there would be a day when we'd be able to be open. I don't think most of us are asking for much. We're not asking for nametags that tells our sexuality, but just people's ready-acceptance, when/if we should decide to share a part of our lives, with them.
Signed,
someone.
I have been bearing this thought in my mind, that if I can in fact choose my own sexual orientation, what would I have chosen? The answer I answered to myself was, heterosexual.
In the fact that I am living in the island state of Singapore, wouldn't being a heterosexual been so much better where you can get proper weddings and a uncloseted relationship? Similarly, I think many people would think like me, that you will choose to be a heterosexual.
So why is it that people are not changing? The answer was simple and clear, because we simply cannot change it.
"Have you ever tried changing in the first place?", asked an inquisitive person.
Browsing internet pages, I have visited several pages written by gays, sharing their experience at Christian organisations that targets to help homosexual males and females to "change". What they shared was that, they enjoyed their time while in there, but they found that nothing changed in them, even with guidance of religion and religious leaders.
Looking at that, I am pretty sure that I couldn't be wrong. I was still Christian then, very active, very fervent, but though I am in a Church which condemn gay acts as a sin, I constantly look for an answer.
I browsed through pages and pages of internet sites again, only to return loads of preaching sermons against homosexuals. It left me unconvinced of what is the true "righteousness".
I wouldn't want to condemn Christianity all in all, as there are also gay accepting ones like the Free Community Church.
Parents, are one big obstacle greater than anything else. Most parents accept their children as gay, some of them doesn't. The reason was that one "moral value" was drilled into their heads; homosexuality is sodomy.
Parents, are ever most loving and concerned for their flesh and blood. Everything you do, everything you get, matters to them. The reaction of what I call "homophobic parents" are normal, as you can just imagine a load of shock was shot to them, by their own flesh and blood. They couldn't gladly accept it, and would first think of how they can help you, when all they can do was to comfort you and brave the storms with you.
They love you. If you, reading this, hates your parents for who they are, please don't. They are the people most caring for you. Give them some time if you have came out frankly to them. Flip the page and start a new chapter. Forgive them.
While I can't provide you with the best advise, as I am still closeted, I think you get what I mean.
Your stories are in huge demands now. Let all Singapore hear who we are through your own experience, and comfort those still greatly closeted by spreading the message that you are one of us. Submit your entries either to gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com or you can directly submit your stories by leaving a comment in the most recent post, posting as an anonymous contributor. Your email address will be kept private. All contributor's real names are NOT required, unless specified by the contributor with written permission to reveal the identity.
posted by GayGuy at 12:05 AM
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