A letter of encouragement

Posted by: GayGuy

From: Anonymous
To: gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com

Firstly, I would like to thank you, for your work on this project; it is uplifting to see such candour with regards to the gay individual.

I think I was lucky in that I didn't have much problems coming out to *myself*; I was able to accept the fact, and move on with my life. It was the moving on bit, however, that posed the problem.

Excited by the notion of meeting like friends, I started accounts at both Sgboy and Fridae.

It's been over two years, and I have yet to meet anyone with whom I could hold a decent conversation with, let alone a friendship.

The reasons are wide and varied, but it suffices to say that various individuals embody the most extravagant stereotypes propounded by society of the gay man; I started to question if my view that such were merely unjust assumptions was accurate.

I needed, and still do, people with whom I can talk freely with. I have a few friends with whom I can, but try as they may, it is impossible for them to see things from my point of view. I do not fault them; I doubt I could view the world as they do either, but having someone close *not* heterosexual would, or may, help.

Being a teen, and a student, I'm not out to many. I suppose I appear ambiguous, neither confessing nor dispelling accusations/rumours. I'm not going to betray myself by outright denying who I am, but neither am I confident enough in outing myself to a mini self-contained community filled with zealous homophobic sentiments.

Reading this blog, however, give me hope that perhaps here I could find other teens with whom I could relate, and equally as important, just hang out with.

Thank you.

I agree that most heterosexuals do not understand how we really feel as gay people. I came out recently, and many of my friends and relatives have said to me that they will never be able to think and feel like they are in our shoes; the possible "sufferings" and tribulations we endure.

Coming out may be a homosexual's most difficult time in his/her life, next to the start of a homosexual relationship. Coming out is especially difficult with your own parents. I think it is perfectly fine to not tell anyone about your problems, or at least find a listening ear to ease your "pain"; I don't know, but what I know is that coming out does relieve some of your pent up frustrations, and it makes you proud of who you are. What a homosexual should not do is to betray him/herself because it will, in the end, make him/her feel worse.

My personal relationships with my parents went downhill recently, perhaps it's due to my coming out, or perhaps it's just me, who needs adjustments of my parent's new knowledge about me. I spoke less and less to my parents, and ever since the day I came out, they have not mentioned the word "gay" even once.

Perhaps they are still in the phase of accepting me.

Nevertheless, please continue to submit your articles. To find out how, click here.