"Perfectly normal."

Posted by: GayGuy

I was quite surprised at the response ever since the comment I left in Tomorrow.sg as people started leaving their life stories, and sent me emails.

The start of this blog till now, to me, was absolutely life-transforming. I have been happier with who I am and no longer the "Oh God why am I gay why why why?!" attitude. It seems that this desire to open up have never been so strong than before, but I realised that I had no courage. Telling my problem to my parents will not be a big problem I guess, as they are rather open minded, but I know that if I tell them, I will make them cry. That is the last thing I want to do.

Apart from parental acceptance, I think a better way of solving the current anti-gay problems in Singapore was social acceptance. At the government level, this is especially distressing.

I am happy to recieve an email from Queer Singapore's author, which can be reached at http://queersingaporean.blogspot.com.

This contributor has contributed through emailing gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com. She is an anonymous lesbian blogger that blogs about her life as a lesbian, opposition from the Singapore government and relationship issues.

This post may contain some crude language, which have NOT been censored.

From: QueerSingaporean's Author
To: gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com

Good day =)

I came across to your blog through tomorrow. I'm the blogger from http://queersingaporean.blogspot.com, and like you, that blog is may way of conveying how I feel to the world, hoping that more people would come out and be comfortable with their sexuality. I'm currently 22 and have a partner who is 21. We are both studying in Melbourne University, and I have to say that I feel so blessed to have her with me, and be my roommate at the same time. My life in Melbourne is wonderful as I get to display my affection for her openly. Not that I would wanna fuck her everywhere we go on the streets but more like hold hands, have a bit of hugs and kisses when we feel like it.

Things aren't the same in Singapore, coz whenever we go back to Singapore I feel as if we're just buddies. We can't hold hands, I can't give her pecks on her cheeks whenever I feel like it, and we're just wary that we might bump into our parents or something like that. It's very suffocating at times and it's worse when BOTH our parents are conservative and very chinese and family-oriented. They don't know about our sexuality but my mother and hers has obviously been guessing a wee bit here and there. Things would be really bad if they do find out, I wouldn't be able to pursue my degree anymore and same goes for hers if our parents do know. Fortunately for me, I brought a guy(a gay friend) back home the last semester when I went back to Singapore for my holiday and now they are convinced that I am straight as hell and ready to get married. -_-" I know that sounds stupid but it's the only way I could get them off my back. My parents have both made it very clear that to them, homosexuality is immoral, hence would bring shame and all the bad things you can think off to my family. It is because of their stand towards homosexuality that I have been unable to come out to them.

I do hope that things would change, if only the government doesn't attempt to inject anti-gay sentiments into people through the media and what's not. It gets tiring hearing my parents scolding gays and lesbians and claim that they are the main source of aids (yawn) and people who ought to be burnt to death. It took me quite a while to come to terms to who I am, and my sexuality. I had 2 boyfriends before, but things didn't work out too well. I had gay friends falling for me before but for obvious reasons we never took things any further. It was only after I came to Melbourne that I dared to date girls and I have had 3 girlfriends so far and am most comfortable with the current one. We have in fact decided to take things further by getting engaged. As strange as it sounds yes we want to get engaged as a way to take things to a higher level. I personally know that we may not exactly recieve positive reactions from friends as most of them are heterosexual and would only percieve a true relationship to be between a dick and a pussy. (some of them don't even think that lesbians do fuck)

Nevertheless, as I read your blog with interest, I came to realize that you think you're born gay. I personally am a bit of Freud's follower after taking a bit of Psychology electives. Freud believes that human beings are innately bisexual. It is only at a later stage of life that they start to stray to either side, meaning to the "straight" path or "bent" path. Hence no one is truely born to be straight or born to be gay. It is partly nature and nurture, nature=genes and nurture=how our life experience shapes our sexuality. In order to understand myself a lil better, I have also took a couple of Sexuality electives (something that NUS, NTU and SMU) would never offer for obvious reasons. These electives has allowed me to learn so much more than I ever could about gays, lesbians, bisexual and transexuals and I am glad to say that I am no longer ashamed of myself and my sexuality. People fear what they do not know and I do think that with the correct education, Singaporeans would come to understand that not everyone is mainstream and listens to only pop songs.

I hope this email helps a lil. Good luck with the blogging. =)

Sexuality is never the reason to say no to life. If you yourself is a gay or bisexual, and constantly thinks that you are a freak, I can say you may be a freak one in ten people, but you are certainly not a freak in a hundred.

While the reason of your sexual orientation is still highly debative in today's science, ask yourself if you have made any decision to be gay or bisexual from childhood. If your answer is a firm NO, there you have it, you answered it to yourself that you are gay by nature.

Homophobics aren't freaks too. I believe they have their reason, probably out of disgust, as they view homosexuality as being against the "mainstream" sexuality, that homosexuality is against "the laws of nature". Others became homophobics due to religion, as some religion condemns acts of homosexuality as a whole, while Christianity bears love towards the homosexuals, but condemns "gay acts" as a sin.

Look to the brighter side of your life. My sexuality used to be my concern, and honestly, it is till now. What have changed in me was to view every new day as a start, a new beginning if you like.

So, submit your entries either to gay_2_d_bone@yahoo.com or you can directly submit your post by leaving a comment in the most recent post, posting as an anonymous contributor. Your email address will be kept private. All contributor's real names are NOT required, unless specified by the contributor with written permission to reveal the identity.